


What If

by Alyce013



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:48:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23959450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alyce013/pseuds/Alyce013
Summary: Jooheon wonders how life would be if one moment in his life changed.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Jooheon, Lee Jooheon/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	1. Part 1

Jooheon woke up to the smell of breakfast wafting into his bedroom. As he opened his eyes, he could hear his child's laughter from the kitchen. A huge smile spread slowly across his face as he sighed contentedly and closed his eyes for a few more moments of rest. He could definitely get used to waking up like this.  
Jooheon sat up a few minutes later, stretching and yawning as he climbed out of bed. He ran his hand through his dark brown hair and adjusted his pajama pants to a less messy position before finally leaving to join the two loves of his life in the kitchen. He smiled from the doorway at the scene in front of him. Changkyun had Cameron sitting on the counter as he kept an eye on both what was cooking and the toddler. He kept making goofy faces and cutely tickling Cameron as he fed him slices of fruit.  
Jooheon loved the way Changkyun treated Cameron as if he was his own. Changkyun was so sweet and kind to, but the best was how he always kept his promises with Cameron. Jooheon had been honestly shocked at how quickly Cameron had taken to Changkyun in the beginning since he was such a shy child. Cameron wouldn't normally speak and would always hide behind his father's legs, whine, or cry when a stranger came close.

"Hey, Kyun." Jooheon breathed into Changkyun's neck as he wrapped his arms around his man's waist from behind.

"Morning, Honey. We figured we would let you sleep in a bit more while breakfast cooked." Changkyun replied leaning his head into the embrace.

"It smelled too good to resist." Jooheon rested his chin on Changkyun's shoulder, smiling at his adorable child.

"Daddy, the apple slices are so good. Try one." Cameron took one of the slices from Changkyun's hand and held it out. Jooheon grinned happily as he accepted the fruit from his son.

"It tastes so good, buddy. Thank you."

"Ready for some real breakfast, cutie pie?" Changkyun cooed as he prepared a plate for Cameron. A huge smile spread across Cameron's face before he started to nod vigorously.  
Jooheon reluctantly released Changkyun from his hold, focusing all his attention on his son now. He took a napkin and wiped the small amount of fruit juices off Cameron's face and hands gently. He smiled sweetly at his son before kissing the boys forehead.

"Open wide." Changkyun joked, offering a strip of bacon to Jooheon. He laughed and diverted the bacon to Cameron and it was quickly eaten. Changkyun set three plates down on the counter before Jooheon lifted him up onto the counter next to Cameron.  
The rest of the morning was just as happy with laughter and the delicious food Changkyun cooked. Jooheon stole a few chaste kisses from Changkyun and the two of them showered adorable, little Cameron in love and kisses as well. This was definitely what home felt like: enjoying breakfast with the two most important people in his life. He had never felt happier and more content with his life than in this moment.

"Let's clean you up a bit and get you dressed before taking you over to Uncle Minhyuk's house. Okay, Buddy?" Jooheon picked Cameron up off the counter, holding him close. Minhyuk was Changkyun's best friend and former roommate who lived only four doors down. Minhyuk and his partner had two kids that Cameron absolutely loved playing with.

"Uncle Minhyuk? Will David and Alex be there?" Cameron exclaimed excitedly.

"Of course." Jooheon assured.

"Yay!" Cameron giggled as his father tickled him a little before placing him down in his room. Changkyun slid off the counter and followed with wet wipes to clean off the child's hands and face. Jooheon pulled out a few outfits for his son to choose from and placed the one that was chosen on the bed. Changkyun helped Cameron out of his footie pajamas once he was clean, but Cameron insisted on getting dressed himself.  
Jooheon and Changkyun laughed silently as they stood outside the door to Cameron's room waiting for him to be ready. Jooheon placed his hands on Changkyun's hips, pulling him closer. Changkyun ran his hands up Jooheon's bare chest as he was pulled into a passionate kiss. Their makeout session interrupted before it could get too heated by a cute, small voice announcing he was all dressed and ready to go. Jooheon had a mild heart attack when Changkyun picked him up and threw him gently in the air before catching him. The toddler was over the moon and begged for him to do it again.

"I'll take him over since you have to get ready to head out for work soon." Changkyun nuzzled Cameron as he spoke to Jooheon.

"Okay. Make sure to ask about him watching Cameron this weekend." Jooheon lightly pinched Cameron's cheek gently before ruffling his hair. "Be good for Uncle Minhyuk, buddy. Love you."

"I will. Love you, daddy!" Cameron squealed happily as his father kissed his forehead. Changkyun turned to leave, still in his pajama pants and tank top. Jooheon shook his head, grinning as he thought about how much he loved how normal this was. He knew Changkyun would probably be a while since Minhyuk loved to talk.  
Jooheon went back into their shared bedroom to start his morning routine. He quickly made the bed before picking out which suit he would wear for work today. He brought the outfit into the bathroom with him hanging it up on the hook behind the door. He washed his face, brushed his teeth and threw on some deodorant and cologne. He dressed himself carefully, making sure he looked sharp and authoritative. He looked down at his watch and reasoned to himself he still had time.  
Jooheon walked into the spare bedroom, and pulled out the engagement ring on the top shelf of the closet he had been keeping hidden for a couple weeks. He planned a special weekend to finally ask Changkyun to be his forever. He was so in love with Changkyun. No matter how confident he was that the answer would be yes, as soon as he looked at the ring he couldn't help thinking what if he said no.  
Jooheon honestly couldn't imagine a life without Changkyun. It felt like they had been together their entire life when, in reality, they'd only known each other for a little over a year. Jooheon had asked Changkyun out three different times before he finally said yes. The memory of it still made his heart skip a beat.

"What are you doing in here?" Changkyun's deep voice scared Jooheon out of his thoughts, and almost caused him to drop the ring. He quickly closed the box and slid it into his jacket pocket. He turned around to see Changkyun sexily leaning on the doorframe, looking at him with an amused expression.

"That was quick. Is Minhyuk sick?" Jooheon deflected. He chuckled at the thought of Minhyuk losing his voice.

"No, the kids were being overly rambunctious. He paused for a second to calm them down and I took the chance to escape." Changkyun had a dark look in his eyes as Jooheon crossed the room to where he was standing.

"You just wanted a kiss before I left for work, didn't you?" Jooheon closed in pulling Changkyun into him by his hips.

"You look so hot in that suit I was honestly thinking about making you late." Changkyun winked flirtatiously before wrapping his arms around Jooheon's neck and pressing their lips together.

"Can the boss really be late?" Jooheon asked boldly when they came up for air. Changkyun continued a trail of kisses down Jooheon's jaw to his neck, his hands loosening Jooheon's tie.

"Brave words. Prove it." Changkyun challenged, pushing Jooheon backwards into the guest room towards the bed. They continued kissing, tongues exploring each others mouths. Jooheon sat down on the edge of the bed lost in the haze of hormones raging through him. Changkyun wasted no time laying him down on the bed, their lips separating only for a quick second.  
Jooheon's phone rang at that moment shocking him out of the haze he had gotten lost in. He instantly sat up, answering it and gently pushing his boyfriend off. Changkyun slid off the bed shooting Jooheon a smirk over his shoulder as he left the room.  
Jooheon smoothed out his suit and shirt as he talked on the phone, assuring he would be at work as quickly as he could. The call lasted another fifteen minutes as he pieced together everything he needed to bring with him to work.

"Apparently the boss really can be late." Changkyun said handing Jooheon his lunch.

"That's what happens when you own your own company. To be continued later." Jooheon placed a chaste kiss on Changkyun's lips before heading for the door.

"I love you. See you when I get home." Changkyun called after him.

"I love you. So very much. Bye." Jooheon responded, emphasizing his declaration of love. He glanced back, giving one last adoring smile.  
As soon as he got to work he was constantly busy. He was in meetings most of the morning with a bunch of paperwork he needed to look over filling in all the time in between. He felt like he really didn't have a chance to breathe until lunchtime finally rolled around. He unpacked his lunch at his desk, deciding to work on a few things while he ate.  
A post-it love note was attached to the leftovers from dinner Changkyun had packed for him this morning, catching Jooheon's attention. He couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. It was little things like this that made Jooheon just fall deeper and deeper in love. His hand brushed the pocket he dropped the engagement ring in this morning, and he pulled it out to once again look at it. He had forgotten he put it in there in all the excitement. He really couldn't believe how lucky he was to have found love for the second time in his life. He had been married before he met Changkyun. Jooheon had married a woman named Areum. They married right out of college, and had Cameron not long after. He had loved her so much, and honestly could say he still loved her. Unfortunately, she died a year and a half after Cameron was born. It had taken so long to feel any kind of normal without her. She had been so vital to his existence. Cameron had been what pulled him through, knowing that a piece of her lived on inside their child.  
Jooheon had left his company in the hands of the board for a few months after she died, trying to raise Cameron on his own, but eventually he had to go back to his company. His best friend Wonho had stepped in and helped watch Cameron when Jooheon couldn't have him at work. He had been extremely protective with Cameron and didn't want to be the kind of parent who had strangers raising his child. As a result of being so sheltered, Cameron grew up shy and afraid of strangers. So, it had terrified Jooheon when he had looked away for a second and lost his precious, beautiful little boy. He had run frantically around the park calling his name only to find him giggling in a stranger's arms.

"Daddy! I found an angel!" He had squealed, nuzzling into the stranger's side. Jooheon had been so shocked he couldn't say a word at first. He was so happy he found Cameron, but he was worried about the stranger's intentions.

"This is your daddy? Go give him a hug he looks like he worried to death about you." The stranger had put Cameron down as he spoke, crouching next to him. Cameron toddled over to his father, arms as wide as they could go. As soon as Cameron was back in his arms, Jooheon had cried in relief.

"Thank you." Jooheon had gasped, barely audible.

"It's no problem. My roommate has a child, well two now, but I know it's definitely the scariest possible thing for a parent to not know where they are." The stranger had smiled kindly and turned to leave.

"Wait! Angel!" Cameron had screamed, turning around in his father's embrace. "Could you tell my mommy we miss her? She's an angel too. Do you know her? Her name is Areum."

"Aw. Cutie pie, I wish I could, but i think she must be a different kind of angel. How about this: If you think really hard about her and what you wanna say before you fall asleep you'll be able to see her in your dreams." The stranger said in a sweet voice.

"Really?! Are you sure?" Cameron asked, excited.

"I promise." The stranger held out his pinky and Cameron held out his own to match. It was the cutest pinky swear Jooheon had ever witnessed. Cameron had happily turned back and nuzzled into his father's chest right after.

"What's your name?" Jooheon questioned abruptly. He hadn't meant it to sound as harsh as it came out.

"I'm Changkyun. It was nice to meet you Cameron and..."

"Jooheon."

"Jooheon. I'm happy you found him so quickly. See you around I guess." Changkyun had left coolly with Cameron shouting 'bye, angel' after him.  
Jooheon loved that memory. He sat at his desk, finishing the last of his lunch staring at the engagement ring. He couldn't help but ask himself what if. What if Areum hadn't died? What if she was still alive? Would he still be with Changkyun, or would he have stayed with her? It was a horrible thing to think, but Jooheon couldn't help wondering what if. He had loved Areum so much. They had been perfect together. With Changkyun he had fallen so deeply in love. They weren't perfect, but, weirdly, that's what made it perfect. He was in love with everything about Changkyun, even the things he hated about him made him love him more.  
The rest of work seemed to pass by super quickly and before Jooheon knew it, he was picking up a sleeping Cameron from Minhyuk's and tucking him into his own bed. Changkyun wouldn't be home for another four hours, and, although Jooheon wanted to stay up to see him when he got home, he was just too exhausted from work. He showered and brushed his teeth leaving a heart on the fogged up mirror for Changkyun to find after his shower. He climbed into bed, falling asleep with one last thought: what if.  
Jooheon woke to sunlight hitting his closed eyes. He didn't want to wake up just yet so he groaned and rolled over. He felt a body next to him, and he grinned pulling the body closer to him by the hips. His eyes flew open in horror as he realized the hips weren't Changkyun's.


	2. Part 2

"Not this early, please." Areum voiced sleepily next to him, eyes still closed. Jooheon pulled his hands back, as new memories flooded into his mind. As Jooheon was trying to get his bearings, the door to the bedroom opened and Cameron jumped onto the bed.

"Ugh! Cameron! How many times do I have to tell you to knock and not jump on the bed?" Areum's voice was angry and stern as she reached out to move Cameron off the bed.

"Sorry, mother." Cameron said sadly, as Jooheon pulled him out of her reach.

"It's ok. I've got him." Jooheon's memories were now filled with how strict and impatient Areum was with the toddler, and how he didn't want her to discipline Cameron for being a normal kid.

"Make sure he understands this time, Joo. Don't be overly soft on him like normal." She called after them as she settled in to fall back asleep.

"I love you, Daddy." Cameron smiled sadly and placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

"I love you too, buddy." Jooheon smoothed back his son's unruly hair, kissing his forehead. "You hungry? Let's make some breakfast." Cameron nodded and clung to Jooheon the whole way to the kitchen, grinning genuinely as he was set on the counter.

"Can we have scrambled eggs?" There was an adorable excitement in Cameron's eyes as he asked.

"Of course we can, buddy." Jooheon started cooking as he tried to figure out what was going on. Everything seemed so surreal. His memories with Changkyun were feeling more like a dream, as his current memories started to become the reality.   
Jooheon was happy his wife was alive, but he felt disappointed at the same time. He was living in the same house he was sharing with Changkyun in the dream, which meant he could still live just four doors down from him. Unfortunately, in his current memories, he had never met Changkyun.

"What is this?" Jooheon thought out loud.

"What?" Cameron looked at him, trying to identify what his father was asking about.

"Sorry, buddy. Just thinking out loud. Want some apple slices while you wait for daddy to finish cooking?" Jooheon switched back to focusing on his son and the food, trying to shake the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.   
The apple slices Jooheon retrieved from the fridge made Cameron just as happy as he had been in his dream. A broken smile spread across his face. He fed Cameron the apple slices in fun ways, as he kept an eye on the food cooking. The cute giggles and genuine joy on his toddler's face was all he needed to feel a bit more normal. He stepped away to get orange juice out of the fridge to drink when breakfast was ready to eat.

"Cameron! What do you think you're doing on the counter?!" Areum entered the kitchen angrily.

"I put him there. He's fine." Jooheon placed an arm in front of her to stop her charge towards Cameron.

"Joo, we've talked about this. If you keep undermining my authority, he's never going to learn. He will continue to act like a child."

"He is a child."

"I know that. I just want him to be a well-behaved child. Is that so wrong?" Areum tried to move past Jooheon, but he picked Cameron up off the counter before she could get to him. As soon as he was picked up, Cameron buried his face in Jooheon's chest.

"Can we not fight in front of him?" Jooheon held Cameron a little tighter, his protective instincts kicking in from the dream that had seemed all too real.

"All I'm asking for is a little bit of support here. We're supposed to be a team." Areum scoffed as she made herself a plate for breakfast and left the kitchen.  
Jooheon made two plates and set them on the table. He sat down, adjusting Cameron to sit on his lap.

"Hey. Hey. It's ok, buddy. Why are you crying?" Jooheon's tank top was damp with his son's tears.

"I'm sorry, daddy. I just-I just-" Cameron's soft little cry hiccups made Jooheon wish Changkyun was around. Changkyun always seemed to be able to soothe Cameron easier than anyone.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Ok?" Jooheon ruffled his son's messy, dark brown hair. "Mom is just tired. Let's get you ready for day care." Jooheon picked up Cameron and threw him lightly into the air as Changkyun had in his dream. An adorably soft giggle escaped Cameron as his father caught him. Jooheon set out clothes and smiled softly at Cameron before leaving him to change on his own.

"Are you dropping him off at day care or do I have to?" Areum asked sounding irritated as soon as she saw him in the master bathroom mirror.

"I'll take him." Jooheon quickly answered. "He's changing right now. I'll drop him off on my way in to work."

"Fine. Don't spoil him too much. You know he acts out more when you do. Be on my side for once, please." Areum stated, walking to the door and closing it.  
Jooheon changed for work in the bedroom as he listened to the shower run in the bathroom. He kept telling himself Areum meant well, but he couldn't help felling protective of his sweet little boy. He couldn't help but focus on the tears and timidness. He exited the room and Cameron ran to his legs, clinging to them.

"Ready to go, buddy?" Jooheon picked up his son, holding him in one arm as he collected everything needed for the day with the other. Cameron clung to him the entire way to the car, but eventually let go as Jooheon buckled him into his car seat. As he closed the car door, he looked over his shoulder at where Changkyun and Minhyuk lived in his dream hoping to catch a glimpse. His heart sank slightly as he noticed a car in their driveway he knew didn't belong to them. He tore his eyes away from the strange car long enough to open his car door and get in.

"What are you looking for, daddy?" Cameron's curious voice shocked Jooheon out of his staring contest with Changkyun's house for the moment. He sighed deeply, starting the car and pulling out of their driveway.

"Nothing. It's nothing." Jooheon muttered. As he passed by the house, he noticed the door opening. He tried to see who was coming out, hoping to see either Changkyun or Minhyuk, but a horn blared in front of him. Jooheon focused back on the road just in time to swerve out of the way of the oncoming car. He slammed his hands on the wheel, trying to pull himself together. Cameron squealed in delight at the thrill of the movement, not truly realizing the danger they were in.

"Again!" Cameron pleaded, clapping his hands. Jooheon barely heard it as he watched the scene playing out in his rear view mirror. Changkyun had thrown an armful of stuff onto his front lawn while a man who had followed him out had gotten on his knees. Jooheon didn't recognize the man who seemed to be begging, but Changkyun didn't give the man any more attention. Changkyun turned on his heel and stormed back into his house. Jooheon started driving again with his focus back on the road, trying not to let what he just saw effect him. He swallowed down the jealousy as he told himself that it was just a dream. Changkyun wasn't his.  
Jooheon dropped Cameron off to daycare quicker than he honestly wanted to because, if he had been any slower, he would've been late for work. He barely noticed the wary looks Cameron was given by the workers and the anxious faces of the children already there. He couldn't be late for work. His memories told him his company was doing so much better than in the dream, which required him to be way busier and involved.  
Jooheon's first meeting went poorly. The client was so unwilling to compromise, he ended up losing them. He felt as if he was drowning under the paperwork for his many other clients, so it didn't seem to matter anyway. He couldn't seem to even find time to breathe for one moment between meetings and paperwork.  
Lunchtime seemed to come around so slowly he felt like he was starving when it finally arrived. He was so busy he had to keep working while he ate. Jooheon opened his lunchbox, looking down sadly at the lunch he packed. He missed that cute note from his dream. It had only been a short cute sentence, but it was the little things that had seemed to make him so happy in the dream. Although he was happy Areum was alive, he realized how different the two were with parenting styles and just normal relationship maintenance. He couldn't help but resent her a bit for the way she was around Cameron. It didn't sit well at all with him how strict she was and how Cameron acted so meek and unsure of himself. He noticed the difference between the shy, but confident Cameron of his dream and the shy and unconfident Cameron of this reality.  
Jooheon's phone rang loudly in the board meeting he rushed to after eating his lunch in record time. The other board members looked up at him with annoyed expressions.

"I apologize." Jooheon pulled the phone from his pocket in a rush, glancing at the caller ID. "It's my son's daycare. I have to take this." He noticed the disappointment in the faces of his board as he got up and walked out of the room. He could tell this wasn't the first time this had happened.

"Hello?"

"Hello. This is Ms. Han with Sunshine Daycare. Is Jooheon Lee available?" Ms. Han's voice on the other end sounded very professional, yet soft and caring. She owned and ran the daycare, so Jooheon started to feel a bit worried about the direction this call was going.

"This is he." Jooheon stated simply.

"Hello, Mr. Lee. There has been an incident involving your son, Cameron. We would really appreciate it if you could come to the daycare right now to discuss the situation." Ms. Han spoke in a terse tone that made Jooheon feel like he had done something wrong.

"Is he OK? Can this wait until I pick him up Ms. Han?" He asked hopefully as he still had way too much to do.

"Cameron is okay. We would really appreciate it if you could come right now. There are a few important things we need to discuss that cannot wait Mr. Lee." Her terse tone sounded annoyed this time.

"I'll finish up this meeting and see if its possible to push the rest of my work until tomorrow. I'll be there as soon as possible." Jooheon offered.

"Thank you, Mr. Lee. Goodbye." Jooheon didn't have a chance to respond before she hung up. He sighed deeply as he walked back into the boardroom. The meeting finished in 15 minutes. He quickly rushed out of the room to go talk over the rest of his day with his secretary. Once his secretary heard it was about the daycare, she gave Jooheon a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. Thankfully, they found a way to rearrange his schedule so he could leave for the daycare. On his way, he needed to be on a conference call with a business partner and a few members of his board, but he pulled up outside the daycare only 45 minutes after he was called over.

"Hi, I'm Jooheon Lee. I'm here about my son Cameron."

"Yes. We've been waiting for you. Come with me, Mr. Lee." The woman led him over to the offices where he saw Cameron sitting in a chair angrily.

"Mr. Lee. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day. Take a seat." Ms. Han motioned him to take a seat next to his son. "I'll be as quick about this as possible."

"What seems to be the problem, Ms. Han?" Jooheon felt his son climbing into his lap as he spoke.

"After multiple warnings and talks between us and your son, Cameron continues to bully the other children. I'm sorry, Mr. Lee, but we have to keep our other children's well being in mind. Cameron is no longer welcome at Sunshine Daycare." Ms. Han gave them both a stern look as Jooheon pulled Cameron a little closer. His mind reeled with all of the memories of Cameron's bullying. Tears threatened to fall as he realized the beautiful child he held protectively now was not the innocent, crying, meek child of the morning. He quickly cleared his throat, choosing his words carefully.

"I understand. I genuinely apologize for Cameron's behavior." Jooheon didnt know what else to say. He stood from the seat, keeping Cameron in his arms. Ms. Han followed them out to his car and waited as Jooheon buckled him in.

"Mr. Lee," Ms. Han collected her thoughts before she continued. "The effort you put into caring and showing up for your son is admirable. I know running a company keeps you extremely busy. I wonder if Mrs. Lee is around much? It's rare to see her drop him off and she almost never picks up calls from us. I'm not trying to tell you how to parent him, but can I make a suggestion?" Jooheon nodded looking into the car at his son and then back at Ms. Han.

"I'm open to suggestions." Jooheon said, prompting her to continue.

"Cameron's acting out seems to be about not getting enough love and attention at home. I'm not trying to say you're neglecting your child. I'm sure you are doing the best you can. I just recommend spending more time with him and showing him you love him. I really want to believe he's not the cruel child he acts like when he is here. Good luck." Ms. Han left after shooting Jooheon a pitying look. Jooheon closed his eyes in frustration. He couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that his sweet, adorable son was a bully. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before sliding into his car to take the both of them home.

"Daddy?" Cameron sounded like the soft child he always acted like at home.

"Yes, Cameron?" Jooheon responded, starting the car and leaving the daycare behind them.

"Are you mad at me?" The simple question caught Jooheon off guard. He had been really worried about how silent Cameron was being during the short meeting.

"Cameron, I love you so much. You know that, right?"

"Yes." Cameron's voice wavered, and Jooheon felt his heart harden a bit as he realized this was the way his child controlled him, with crocodile tears. "I love you too, daddy."

"I'm disappointed, but I'm not angry. We have a lot we need to figure out when we get home." Jooheon tried his hardest to sound calm yet firm. He glanced in the rear view mirror at Cameron seeing tears streaked down his cheeks. Jooheon knew he shouldn't let it get to him, but it hurt. He didn't know how he was going to be able to tell the difference between real and fake tears. The rest of the drive home was silent except the occasional soft sob from Cameron that continued to dig small tears into his heart.  
Jooheon pulled into the driveway. He checked the rear view mirror and noticed Cameron had cried himself to sleep. He quietly got out to gently pull him out of the car seat, doing his best not to wake him. The three of them needed to sit and talk, but he felt like a conversation between just him and Areum should come first. He laid Cameron in his bed, softly fluffing his hair. He covered Cameron with a blanket, lightly kissing his forehead before leaving the room.  
Jooheon waited in the living room for Areum to return, going over paperwork he brought home with him from work. A couple hours passed before he was awoken by a confused looking Areum, his paperwork half strewn across the floor.

"Joo? You're home early. What happened?" She asked as soon as Jooheon's eyes focused on her and he wiped a bit of drool from the corner of his mouth.

"Cameron got thrown out of daycare." Jooheon stated bluntly, voice still laced with sleep.

"What?!" Areum looked more angry than shocked.

"Please keep your voice down. He cried himself to sleep on the way home."

"You really let him walk all over you...again? He cries to you cause he knows it works on you. When are you going to understand that?"

"When are you going to understand that being overly strict isn't the greatest policy either?" Jooheon shot back.

"Wow! Really? At least I give him discipline, and structure while all you do is cater to his every whim." Areum's anger and escalation of the argument didn't settle well with Jooheon and his still half asleep state.

"Discipline? You can be downright cruel to Cameron. How can I not hurt when he is hurting? That's my son!"

"You mean OUR son."

"You know what I mean, Areum."

"Do I? You always take his side. You always undermine me. It's your fault he acts like this. You can't blame me."

"My fault?" Jooheon scoffs. "I just want him to be able to be a kid and make mistakes."

"So it's my fault for wanting a well-behaved child!?" Areum basically shouted back.

"There is a difference between well-behaved and turning our child into a bully! Cause that's what he is at daycare!" Jooheon lost control of his volume at this point, completely forgetting Cameron was asleep.

"I didn't even want him in the first place!" Areum yelled back in the heat of the moment. A small gasp was heard by both parents before Jooheon could even react to the confession. Their heads turned to see a shocked and upset Cameron half peeking into the room from the hallway.


	3. Part 3 (Finale)

"I didn't even want him in the first place!" Areum yelled back in the heat of the moment. A small gasp was heard by both the parents before Jooheon could even react to the confession. Their heads turned to see a shocked and upset Cameron half peeking into the room from the hallway.

"You don't want me?" Cameron's voice was barely audible, fresh tears running down his face. Without waiting for an answer, Cameron bolted for the front door and ran out of the house. Jooheon didn't even glance back at Areum as he ran after his little boy. He started frantically searching for any sign of Cameron as soon as he made it out of the house. Unfortunately, all he found was an empty street.

"Cameron!" Jooheon felt Areum finally join him outside.

"Joo, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." Jooheon ignored her as he ran towards the one house he knew his son would be safe at: Changkyun's house. He prayed as hard as he could that Cameron had ran there. He had no memories in this reality of meeting Changkyun or Cameron meeting Changkyun, but he hoped he was the same as in his dream. He knocked loudly on the door, slightly giving in to the panic rising in his chest.

"Hello. Can I help you?" Minhyuk had answered the door much to Jooheon's disappointment.

"Yes, my son, Cameron, he's run off and-"

"Shownu! I'm off to help find a kid. I'll update you in texts. Love you!" Minhyuk stepped into shoes before stepping outside. "Did you see which way he went?"

"Thank you. No, he got a bit of a head start though." Jooheon answered with a small smile on his face. He felt so grateful that Minhyuk was exactly the same as in his 'dream'.

"There is a park close by. Have you checked there? Does he like parks? My name's Minhyuk by the way. I have two kids of my own so I understand." Minhyuk didn't even take a breath until he finished speaking.

"Jooheon. The park. Yeah. Yes. He loves that park. He could be there." Jooheon followed as Minhyuk quickly started walking in the direction of the park. Darkness surrounded them as soon as they started to walk away from the street lamps of their townhome development.

"Jooheon!" Areum tried again to get her husband's attention. Jooheon didnt even spare her a glance, so she trailed behind him for a few seconds.

"Go home, Areum." Jooheon said calmly, not even looking at her.

"No. I wanna-" She started to say.

"Go. Home." Jooheon slipped a bit of the anger he was feeling into his words, cutting her off. He didn't want to even look at her right now, much less take her with him and upset Cameron even further. Thankfully, Areum listened this time and he could hear her retreating footsteps. Minhyuk glanced back at Jooheon with a sympathetic look on his face, but, smartly, not saying a word. The park came into view and Jooheon picked up his pace.

"Shhhh. I know. Life is hard. It tricks you into pulling your heart out willingly before snatching it and ripping it to pieces before throwing it on the ground and stomping on it." Changkyun's voice sounded just as beautifully husky as he remembered. Cameron's soft, slowly quieting sobs accompanied Changkyun's voice.

"Kyun!" Minhyuk whisper shouted as he and Jooheon found the two swinging slowly on one of the swings. "Stop traumatizing that poor child." Jooheon felt a warmth spread through his chest, seeing the man of his dreams holding Cameron to his chest. Cameron's face buried in Changkyun's neck, while Changkyun softly rubbed Cameron's back.

"I'm not traumatizing him. We are two tortured souls sharing in our pain." Changkyun held Cameron a little closer.

"How's he doing?" Jooheon asked softly, kneeling in front of the duo. He caught Changkyun's eyes in his. Cameron sniffled, wiping his tears on his arm to look down at his father.

"Is this your dad?" Changkyun asked Cameron, not breaking eye contact with Jooheon. Cameron nodded before burying his face back in Changkyun's neck.

"Hey, buddy." Jooheon said softly, placing a hand on his son's back.

"Changkyun, give the child back to his father." Minhyuk interjected, but Jooheon ignored it.

"He can go back to his father whenever he wants. I'm not holding him hostage." Changkyun answered, annoyance clear in his tone.

"I d-don't wanna. H-he do-doesn't want me." Cameron cried, still clinging to Changkyun. Changkyun's eyes widened for a moment in shock before narrowing into a slight glare.

"I do want you. I've always wanted you. You're my little buddy." Jooheon whined cutely, trying to stop Cameron's tears. Changkyun fought a grin at how cute Jooheon acted, pressing his lips together to fight it off and keep the glare.

"Y-you do?" Cameron sniffled, pulling his face out of Changkyun's neck. He wiped the snot and tears that had collected on his face with his arm.

"I love you so much. You know that." Jooheon assured, wiping the rest of Cameron's tears with a gentle hand.

"M-mother hates m-me!" Cameron sobbed out as fresh tears escaped his eyes. He clung a little tighter to Changkyun, who unconsciously tightened his grip on the child.

"Oh, buddy. Mom was angry at me, so she said mean things to hurt me. She doesn't hate you." Jooheon felt like crying. He knew Areum didn't hate Cameron, but she had meant what she said in anger. It was her behavior that his son was emulating when he was a bully. He wanted to stop Cameron from going down this path. He really missed and wanted the happy, sweet boy that Cameron was in his dream. Jooheon knew it wasn't all Areum's fault. He hadn't done anything to stop it from getting to this point, but that was going to change.

"Hey, cutie pie? Go give your daddy a hug he looks like he was worried to death about you." Changkyun stopped the swing completely, loosening his hold on Cameron. His glare relenting. Jooheon gave him a relieved look as Cameron climbed into his fathers embrace. He closed his eyes hugging his child tightly to his chest. Cameron had become his entire heart and soul ever since the moment Areum told him she was pregnant, and he knew that would never change. He made a promise in that moment to give Cameron a better life.

"I love you so much, Cameron." Jooheon's voice wavered slightly as a tear fell down his cheek. Jooheon stood up, keeping Cameron held tightly in his arms.

"I hope everything works out." Changkyun stood up, placing a comforting hand on Cameron's back. He looked compassionately into Jooheon's eyes before turning to leave with a beckoning Minhyuk. Jooheon adjusted Cameron into one arm with his head laying on his shoulder.

"Thank you." Jooheon whispered, reaching out to grab Changkyun's wrist.

"It was no problem. He's such a cute kid." Changkyun smiled wistfully.

"He really is. I'm really glad he found you and not some creep." Jooheon spoke so sincerely it shone in his eyes. "I'm Jooheon by the way. I live just a couple doors down from you."

"Well, Jooheon, if you ever need help or anything...um...Minhyuk has kids too, so maybe they can play together." Changkyun offered awkwardly.

"Daddy, can I?" Cameron lifted his head from Jooheon's shoulder in excitement.

"We will talk about it when we get home. You know it's not all we have to talk about." Jooheon stated firmly. Changkyun and Jooheon simultaneously looked down at the grip Jooheon still had on Changkyun's wrist. Jooheon finally let go, a blush rising in his cheeks. He missed the contact the moment it was gone. He still felt as in love with Changkyun as he was in his dream, and he couldn't help wishing he didn't have to watch him leave with Minhyuk.  
The walk back to the house was silent and ominous. Jooheon collected his thoughts and tried to calm the anger he felt towards Areum. They honestly hadn't planned to have Cameron. When he found out she was pregnant he had been surprised, but excited. At the time, Areum had seemed just as excited.

"Joo! Cameron!" Areum ran out to them from the house. Cameron clung tighter to his father, not moving from his position in Jooheon's arm. Jooheon flinched slightly away from her approach, and she stopped dead.

"Not here." Jooheon warned, passing by her to walk into the house.

"I'm so glad you're OK. Areum spoke gently to Cameron, trying to gain his attention. Cameron instead moved to bury his face in Jooheon's chest so he didn't have to look at her.

"Let me put him to bed and then you and I need to talk."

"He needs a bath first." Areum jumped quickly back into a stern tone of voice. Jooheon paused for a moment to glare at her before leaving her in the living room to stew. He placed Cameron down gently on his bed, ruffling the boy's hair. He gently wiped Cameron's face with a tissue to clean off the remnants of tears and snot before tucking his son in.

"Will you let me see the nice man again?" Cameron asked once Jooheon started to leave.

"We will talk about it in the morning. I promise." Jooheon already knew he was going to let Cameron go over there, but he needed to set down some rules first.

"That means no, doesn't it?" Cameron asked, disappointment clear in his voice.

"It means we will talk about it in the morning. Right now you need to sleep." Jooheon turned the light off.

"Night, daddy." Cameron rolled onto his side, disappointment still clear in his voice.

"Night, Cameron." Jooheon closed the door, sighing deeply. He really didn't want to fight with Areum, but enough was enough. He walked back into the living room, trying not to let the anger rise again in his chest when he noticed it was empty. He continued to look for Areum in the kitchen, but he finally found her in their bedroom.

"What are you doing?" Jooheon asked, anger slightly showing in his tone as he realized Areum was going about her normal routine like nothing had happened.

"Getting ready for bed." She answered nonchalantly, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"We need to talk about this." Jooheon stated, his words calmer this time.

"Talk about what? How you've decided to be the single parent for our child?"

"How about we talk about you saying you didn't want him in the first place? Cause I thought we were happy." Jooheon moved to stand in front of Areum, trying to get her full attention. She refused to look up at him so he kneeled in front of her. He reminded himself to stay calm.

"You ignored me earlier over and over. Why now?" Areum responded angrily, still avoiding looking at him.

"Cause before you were focused only on yourself. Where Cameron went should've been the priority, but he is now home safe in his bed. Talk to me." Jooheon gently pulled her face towards him so their eyes met.

"Are you trying to say I'm selfish, Jooheon?" Areum's tone sounded defensive and still angry, but her eyes were full of fear.

"I'm trying to say that we need to talk. No yelling. No arguing. Talk. I thought we were happy." Jooheon spoke softly, pausing between sentences. He placed his hands beside her on the bed.

"You were happy Jooheon. You saw happiness in me, because that's what I wanted you to see. I was terrified. I never wanted kids. Something we didn't get to discuss before I got pregnant." Areum finally admitted, almost yelling, and looking guilty.

"Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Cause you were so happy and excited and I didn't want to lose you. All Cameron does is whine, cry, be loud and break things. I don't like to deal with it. I don't want to deal with it. When will he grow out of this phase? At least when he was a baby he was easier to handle."

"Why have you kept this from me for five years? Areum, is this why you treat him like you hate him?" Jooheon tried to hold in the feeling of despair that flowed through his veins. Tears threatened to fall, but he blinked them away quickly.

"I don't hate him. I just sometimes wish we had been more careful." Areum shrugged at this statement. Jooheon noticed a sense of relief in her eyes at the truth finally coming out.

"To Cameron it seems like you do. It's so very apparent to him that he bullys kids in daycare the way you treat him here at home. I know I also need to stop letting him walk all over me, but you need to stop being so strict and mean to him. It hurts seeing him hurt over you not showing him any love no matter how much he tries and works for it." Jooheon explained earnestly, thankful they finally had a discussion that didn't turn into and argument.

"I don't hate him." Areum repeated before hesitantly continuing. "But I don't feel the same love for him you do."

"What do you mean?"

"There's an attachment I feel because he is half of me, but beyond that I don't really feel much more. Sometimes I wish I did. I thought maybe once he was born I'd feel that love you have, but I don't. I'm sorry."

"I want to help you work on that. Especially if it means you'll treat him better." Jooheon sighed deeply, organizing his thoughts. "Areum, I love you. I know we have our rocky points, but as long as we talk it through we can get through them. We need to get back to that, instead of fighting with each other all the time."  
Areum nodded, tears staring to fall down her cheeks. She stood up, pulling Jooheon up onto his feet. She buried her face into his chest. Jooheon could feel her tears soaking into his shirt as he wrapped his arms around his wife. 

"I love you, Jooheon." Areum's shaky, muffled voice held so much emotion. Jooheon only held on to her tighter. This felt like a step in the right direction. He knew they still had things to work on, but he could finally see a light at the end of this tunnel.

"Let's go to bed. I'm exhausted. I know you're exhausted, and we can talk in the morning."

"Let's get a shower first." Areum pulled her face from his chest, leaning back slightly. She reached for his hands to guide him into their bathroom. Jooheon smirked as Areum started to undress in front of him. He quickly took his clothes off, almost tripping, and discarded them haphazardly on the floor. Areum had already started the shower and disappeared behind the curtain. He quickly followed her.  
A while later, Jooheon found himself laying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling while his thoughts raced. Areum was sound asleep, head on his chest, and the rest of her clinging tightly to his side. He had been reminded of the question he had swirling in his head in his dream: what if. His heart was so full of love for Areum, but he was so in love with the Changkyun from his dream. In the dream, he had thought about Areum only as a fond memory of the love they shared, but in this reality he pined over Changkyun. Even though he would love to chase after Changkyun, he knew he would end up just trying to fix what he had with Areum. Suddenly, as he drifted into sleep, he knew what his answer would be. He wanted his dream. He wanted Changkyun.

"Honey." A familiar, beautifully husky voice groaned into Jooheon's ear. He rolled towards the voice, sleepily opening his eyes. Changkyun's soft smile sent electric shocks of happiness through his body, and Jooheon mirrored the smile. He felt Changkyun's hands roaming up his bare chest. He pulled Changkyun into a passionate kiss, his hands resting on the hips he always found so irresistible. Changkyun let out a sharp breath through his nose, and moaned into the kiss. Jooheon pulled Changkyun flush against him, wanting to touch every inch of the man he had missed so much.  
Before things went any further, the door slammed open and Cameron ran in. The child jumped onto the bed as Changkyun quickly pulled away from Jooheon. He playfully takled Cameron to the bed, tickling him and leaving soft kisses on his face. Cameron squealed in delight, giggling uncontrollably.

"Help! Daddy, help me!" Cameron pleaded playfully through giggles. Jooheon laughed heartily, loving the moment he was caught in.

"I've got you buddy!" He cried out, joining in on the tickling. Cameron squirmed away from them, and crawled off the bed.

"Traitor!" Cameron giggled at Jooheon before taking off out of the room.

"I love you." Jooheon gushed happily, at the man he pulled back into his arms.

"I love you." Changkyun answered just as happily, nuzzling his nose against Jooheon's. "Breakfast?"

"Breakfast sounds amazing." Jooheon kissed Changkyun once again before watching him leave to make breakfast. He laid back down as he tried to work through what had happened. Yesterday Areum was alive, and today he had the love of his life back in his life. Jooheon felt the reality he had lived in yesterday fading away. He grasped onto one last thought as he realized this reality was the right one and not a dream: he would always choose Changkyun, but he would never stop loving Areum.


End file.
